The best Pokemon sex positions inspired by Pokemon Go
I’m not the type to mess around when it comes to novelty sex positions.
I am not prudish, but I am a creature of habit. Once I find something that works, I stick with it. Who doesn’t like a guarantee Orgasm, right?
But my recent obsession with Pokémon Go is changing all that.
I see the world through Poke colored glasses, and it made me think about spicing up my sex life and it means new sex positions would be necessary.
How I connected the two is work for my analyst, thank you very much.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that when it came to finding new hot sex positions, I didn’t even have to look away from the iPhone and the rapidly increasing game score.
You and your partner should acquire a dirty, ragged brown blanket and head to a densely populated area. Once there, undress, wrap yourself in the sheet and make strong and constant love, blocking the paths of those fools who dared to “go to the grocery store”.
Set your partner’s cock on fire and have him chase you around the room.
Carrying a pot of pasta and nothing else, assume it missionary position because, as you know, Shieldons are vulnerable to attacks from behind.
Wrap yourself in toilet paper and have sex in a very small closet or crawl space.
Let your partner take you from behind to a hotel pool as you use the pool’s powerful jets. CP bonus so real squirting is accomplished.
Empty the trash in an alley behind a restaurant, wait until it gets dark and have sex in the trash. If you get caught, hiss and jump a lot up and down while pointing.
Grab a bunch of hallucinogenic mushrooms, put on a thong, eat some high-quality cheese together, and see where the night takes you.
Tie a sheet over yourself and shape it into a parachute, of sorts. Step onto a shelf and wait for your partner to enter. When they do, jump.
9. Ball drill
Cover yourself in honey and wield two giant butt plugs. Whenever your partner asks you a question, just respond by buzzing them.
Lock your partner in your room, hold him down and fart and fart and fart on him.
Whatever position you desire as long as at the moment of orgasm there is a flash of lightning somehow and also that you shout “PIKA PIKA PIKA!”